6th of May, 2025
For the past three years during Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM), Aviva has been urging Kiwis to step up as upstanders, not stand by as bystanders, against sexual violence. The campaign, Asking For It… To Stop, began three years ago.
An upstander is someone who notices the casual sexism, the jokes that make your stomach churn, and the behaviours and attitudes that contribute to sexual harm – and does something about it. They might speak up directly and challenge the behaviour, support the person being targeted, or even just create a distraction. A bystander, on the other hand, sees the same thing but doesn’t step in. Being an upstander is about choosing to be part of the solution, chipping away at the harmful attitudes that can fuel sexual harm in our communities.
Last year, we really ramped things up with billboards, radio ads, a dedicated website, and resources that clearly laid out the spectrum of sexual violence. While the campaign got good traction and media buzz, we couldn’t really measure its impact on the ground. We needed to reach more people and challenge them in a way that felt accessible and real. This year, we wanted to go beyond just raising awareness and provide empowerment.
That’s where the upstander conversation cards came in. After hitting up heaps of bars, cafes, workplaces, and community spots – you name it, our team pounded the pavement across Canterbury delivering the new resources. These cards present everyday scenarios alongside a range of possible responses – some good, some not so good, and some in between, because we’re all human. The idea is to get people thinking about their own beliefs and what being an upstander looks like in real life. People can also jump online to stopit.nz/quiz to test their responses and get feedback on whether their choices might prevent or perpetuate harm.
We can’t tackle sexual violence with rules and regulations alone. Real change happens when everyday Kiwis everywhere step up – that’s the heart of being an upstander. Bystanders might stand by, unsure what to do or thinking they can’t make a difference. But by speaking up or acting appropriately in the moment, an upstander can stop something awful from happening or shift someone’s perspective.
The way sexual violence works can be complex, which can make it tricky to spot. But the good news is, all of us can be upstanders once we know how. This campaign is all about equipping people, not overwhelming them. In many ways, it’s a hopeful campaign, built on the idea that most people genuinely want to look out for each other and create a better future for our tamariki. Giving people the tools to recognise and challenge harmful behaviour is one of the most powerful ways we can build safer communities together.
“Asking for it… to stop” resources are available for free from the website stopit.nz